What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
