ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I will pee on everything he values.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We're too hungover to prance.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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