shes about as inviting as chlamydia
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
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