I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
