ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.