Will you blow on my dice?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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