So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize