Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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