she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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