Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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