Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i barfeds in our rink
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
