This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
