I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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