Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize