You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize