It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
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We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
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A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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