I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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