is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
