Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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