apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
We're too hungover to prance.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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