I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
