if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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