Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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