i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
All I want is dick and wine.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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