I am in a vortex of obligation.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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