after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
