sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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