Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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