why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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