you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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