I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
