her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
