How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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