this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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