I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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