Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
