dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i would punch a child for taco bell
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
