So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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