Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
