the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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