I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
