Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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