Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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