Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
