we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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