GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
