Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
i think my cat just said my name.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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