dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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