Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize