woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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