It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
