yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
