You're earring is so big in my mouth
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
