So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
