Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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