I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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