Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
