Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
