its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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