you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
